From a five year old.
Yesterday my cousin's little girl says to me:
Addy: Are you marrrried?
Me: Nope.
Addy: Are you aboooout to be?
Me: Nope.
Addy: Are you eeeever gonna be?'
Me: ... Probably not
Addy: Bad choice...
Me: {silence}
I got reprimanded by a 5 year old! And she gave me this look like she disapproved, but she's 5. And what does she really know anyways?
I mean, seriously.
I clearly need to start chatting with her more. She's cheaper than a therapist and she'll tell it to me how it is. According to a 5 year old. (:
10.28.2012
10.18.2012
Sometimes
you just have to let go.
Now, this sounds much easier than it actually is. Realistically, that is. How do you know when you're ready to do that. Are you ever ready?
Letting go means that you're forgiving someone, for something (or things) that they've done to you. To hurt you. To discourage you; trying to be your undoing. Letting go means you're accepting an apology that you never got. Okay, let's be real- you might never get it. Letting go means you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable again. That truly takes being the bigger person. How cliche does that sound, I know...
My journey thus far as a single mother has not been easy. With that being said, let me be perfectly clear that every single minute of it has been more than worth it. I am a completely single parent. Bryan has no interaction with Brylee, and I think when we first split he gave me $120. He hasn't seen, or attempted to see our daughter since last November. eleven months. No Christmas presents, no birthday cards... nothing. This breaks my heart more than it makes me upset. I simply cannot comprehend how anyone can walk away from their child. It took a very long time for me to let go of the anger that I had towards him for abandoning her. She deserves more than that.
I would be lying if I said that I didn't live everyday with a small amount of fear that he's just going to show up one day and want to wedge himself into a life she's created for herself. And I would never stop that if it were to happen. The fear part of that is that there's always the possibility he'll walk away from her again. How do I protect and defend her from that happening? The answer is I can't. And that scares the living hell out of me. I have enough terrible things in this world to worry about protecting her from. I don't need to add her father entering and exiting his life as he pleases. But, that's my reality.
Sometimes, you have to take it one day at a time.
And sometimes, you just focus on what matters most- this little mini:
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Now, this sounds much easier than it actually is. Realistically, that is. How do you know when you're ready to do that. Are you ever ready?
Letting go means that you're forgiving someone, for something (or things) that they've done to you. To hurt you. To discourage you; trying to be your undoing. Letting go means you're accepting an apology that you never got. Okay, let's be real- you might never get it. Letting go means you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable again. That truly takes being the bigger person. How cliche does that sound, I know...
My journey thus far as a single mother has not been easy. With that being said, let me be perfectly clear that every single minute of it has been more than worth it. I am a completely single parent. Bryan has no interaction with Brylee, and I think when we first split he gave me $120. He hasn't seen, or attempted to see our daughter since last November. eleven months. No Christmas presents, no birthday cards... nothing. This breaks my heart more than it makes me upset. I simply cannot comprehend how anyone can walk away from their child. It took a very long time for me to let go of the anger that I had towards him for abandoning her. She deserves more than that.
I would be lying if I said that I didn't live everyday with a small amount of fear that he's just going to show up one day and want to wedge himself into a life she's created for herself. And I would never stop that if it were to happen. The fear part of that is that there's always the possibility he'll walk away from her again. How do I protect and defend her from that happening? The answer is I can't. And that scares the living hell out of me. I have enough terrible things in this world to worry about protecting her from. I don't need to add her father entering and exiting his life as he pleases. But, that's my reality.
Sometimes, you have to take it one day at a time.
And sometimes, you just focus on what matters most- this little mini:
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10.04.2011
This mom of mine
is cute. A little crazy, but she's cute. I mean, look at me, right?
She's going through this little funk right now. I'm pretty sure it's a lot of things mixed into one, but I know she's pretty stressed. So I laugh and coo and always make her smile with the silly little things I do and faces I make.
She looks at Pinterest ALL day to try and find cute craft ideas for us to do. (Really more her to do, but I sit and watch). She thinks that might help take her mind off of things. We're also watching the Nip/Tuck series right now every night before bed.
And "Whitney" definitely lived up to her expectations. She laughed hysterically.
She'll be okay. She always is.
In fact, Nip/Tuck is making her grimace and cringe right now. I think that's a good sign.
She's going through this little funk right now. I'm pretty sure it's a lot of things mixed into one, but I know she's pretty stressed. So I laugh and coo and always make her smile with the silly little things I do and faces I make.
She looks at Pinterest ALL day to try and find cute craft ideas for us to do. (Really more her to do, but I sit and watch). She thinks that might help take her mind off of things. We're also watching the Nip/Tuck series right now every night before bed.
And "Whitney" definitely lived up to her expectations. She laughed hysterically.
She'll be okay. She always is.
In fact, Nip/Tuck is making her grimace and cringe right now. I think that's a good sign.
9.09.2011
Quotes, quotes... and more quotes
I am quite the quote fanatic. I love them. And I'm always looking for new ones. And then applying them to my life, thinking: "They wrote this just for ME!" (Which is honestly not the case, but I just won't admit that).
My newest quote, well, it fits my life to a tee.
Please enjoy.
"Take chances... a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up- and with who, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are... you learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel always. Be you, and be okay with it."
I just love how other people put things into perspective. And then they publish them, so I can read them over and over again, enjoying it just as much each time as I did the first.
Thank you for telling my life story, only summarized, and in much prettier words.
My newest quote, well, it fits my life to a tee.
Please enjoy.
"Take chances... a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up- and with who, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are... you learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel always. Be you, and be okay with it."
I just love how other people put things into perspective. And then they publish them, so I can read them over and over again, enjoying it just as much each time as I did the first.
Thank you for telling my life story, only summarized, and in much prettier words.
9.05.2011
The littlest things
Today I received a letter from a couple who became good friends of mine very quickly. Their sweet words brought tears to my eyes reading what they wrote, and that moment also helped me to remember that it is truly the small and simple things that make life count. It was also a wonderful reminder to me that I should be giving my thanks and gratitude for things that I really appreciate to loved ones or mere acquaintances. You really never know how much a simple thanks or friendly attitude can help someones day, or maybe go a bit further than that.
These words were such a relief to me. I always look back, questioning things I've done, or choices that I've made, and I can't help but question my actions. I don't know what a "perfect" life is, or who makes the "good or bad" list, but it's when I hear things like this that make me realize I've turned out alright. I live a good life. I have my own beliefs and values. And more importantly, I am truly happy who I am. There is nothing to regret, only so much more to learn.
I've realized the past couple of years that our choices and decisions will never please everyone. We can only be the best we know how to be, and those who really love us will love us no matter who we are.
Here is a copy of that letter to my sweet, sweet baby:
Hello Brylee,
This is David and Andi writing to you. Your mother helped me and my beautiful wife out with something very important to us.
You are beautiful. And you are so lucky to have Carly as your mother. If you follow in her footsteps, you will be as beautiful on the inside as the outside.
Please thank your Grandparents for us for raising such a sweet daughter that will not only serve you well but be a blessing on all she comes in contact with.
Your Grandparents must be great people; look at how your mother turned out. Even if it was only for a few moments, thank you for sharing your sweet mother with us.
We need more sweet people like these two in our lives.
Today I am grateful for two simple words: thank you
These words were such a relief to me. I always look back, questioning things I've done, or choices that I've made, and I can't help but question my actions. I don't know what a "perfect" life is, or who makes the "good or bad" list, but it's when I hear things like this that make me realize I've turned out alright. I live a good life. I have my own beliefs and values. And more importantly, I am truly happy who I am. There is nothing to regret, only so much more to learn.
I've realized the past couple of years that our choices and decisions will never please everyone. We can only be the best we know how to be, and those who really love us will love us no matter who we are.
Here is a copy of that letter to my sweet, sweet baby:
Hello Brylee,
This is David and Andi writing to you. Your mother helped me and my beautiful wife out with something very important to us.
You are beautiful. And you are so lucky to have Carly as your mother. If you follow in her footsteps, you will be as beautiful on the inside as the outside.
Please thank your Grandparents for us for raising such a sweet daughter that will not only serve you well but be a blessing on all she comes in contact with.
Your Grandparents must be great people; look at how your mother turned out. Even if it was only for a few moments, thank you for sharing your sweet mother with us.
We need more sweet people like these two in our lives.
Today I am grateful for two simple words: thank you
8.17.2011
Keeps getting better
So, I am working on what I think is THE funniest post ever. If, when I post it, you don't at least laugh a little, you obviously don't know me very well, and we should probably re-evaluate our friendship.
Since it's so funny, and so fantastic, it's taking me a while. Have no fear! In the meantime, I'll post a tidbit about this little sweet pea of mine since she really is coming into her own person.
This ah-dorable love bug of mine loves:
§ Her grandpa. Still. A lot. Maybe even a little more than she loves me.
§ Ice cream. (Grandpa is the one who feeds her this most, maybe that's why she's so fond of him)
§ Apple juice. (Already trained my kid to drink from a sippy cup. Yes!)
§ The Country Music Awards? She never holds that still for anything
§ Patty-cake
§ Peek-a-boo with her burp cloths
§ Holding her own bottle (More like tossing it around)
§ Long drives up to grandma greats with mom, listening to Paramore
§ Bananas. Num, num, num!
§ Pulling hair
§ Giving mom a bath. Really, this should be the other way around.
§ Giving wet, slobbery kisses. Disclaimer: This usually includes tongue
And she just can't help but be so cute and loveable!
Also, thank you, thank you, thank you! to whoever blessed me with the greatest daughter ever. I don't know how I did it, but my advice to expecting moms is lots of diet coke, grilled steak salads from Cafe Rio, sleepless nights, and back pain. That seems to be a pretty cocktail for producing a perfect mini-you.
Since it's so funny, and so fantastic, it's taking me a while. Have no fear! In the meantime, I'll post a tidbit about this little sweet pea of mine since she really is coming into her own person.
This ah-dorable love bug of mine loves:
§ Her grandpa. Still. A lot. Maybe even a little more than she loves me.
§ Ice cream. (Grandpa is the one who feeds her this most, maybe that's why she's so fond of him)
§ Apple juice. (Already trained my kid to drink from a sippy cup. Yes!)
§ The Country Music Awards? She never holds that still for anything
§ Patty-cake
§ Peek-a-boo with her burp cloths
§ Holding her own bottle (More like tossing it around)
§ Long drives up to grandma greats with mom, listening to Paramore
§ Bananas. Num, num, num!
§ Pulling hair
§ Giving mom a bath. Really, this should be the other way around.
§ Giving wet, slobbery kisses. Disclaimer: This usually includes tongue
And she just can't help but be so cute and loveable!
Also, thank you, thank you, thank you! to whoever blessed me with the greatest daughter ever. I don't know how I did it, but my advice to expecting moms is lots of diet coke, grilled steak salads from Cafe Rio, sleepless nights, and back pain. That seems to be a pretty cocktail for producing a perfect mini-you.
8.15.2011
Future Hubby Application
So... basically- I got tired of settling. Being the smart and witty person I am, I've created this little 'application' for any potential hubby suitors. I thought of requirements and traits of my "perfect" someone, and trust me, he doesn't exist. Therefore, this is impossible to pass, which means I can avoid settling down. ever. And now this lovely information is being handed out along with a short disclaimer about myself and the way I feel about men to any of them in the future here.
Purpose: Save them the heart ache.
[ ] Must {love} kids. No exceptions.
Note: If you did not check this box, please don't continue.
[ ] Must not smoke.
[ ] Must be a hard worker.
[ ] Must be at least 6'1.
[ ] Must be funny. Then again, it's not too hard to make me laugh.
[ ] Must have a good job- preferably a lawyer or doctor (anesthesioligist would be great) or a firefighter.
Please list other occupation here if none of the above apply to you. I will take these into
consideration. Other: ___________________________________________
[ ] Must play some sort of musical instrument OR own a motorcycle.
[ ] Must think I'm outrageously funny. Because, lets face it, I am.
[ ] Must accept my dorkiness.
[ ] Must be able to grill as well, if not better, than the current man in my life: My father.
*He grills a mean steak boys.
[ ] Must be fluent in sarcasm.
[ ] Must kill ALL spiders. Or any bug for that matter.
[ ] No pets. Except for my beta fish named Morris, and maybe a pet chicken named Izzy.
[ ] No trying to change my mind about ^this^ requirement either.
[ ] Must do the dishes after I cook delicious meals.
[ ] Must accept the fact that I can't golf, dance, or do math.
[ ] Must give me a constant case of those dang butterflies.
[ ] Must be willing to go on crazy escapades and adventures!
[ ] Must send me periodic cute texts throughout the day that I can't help but break out in smile.
[ ] Must sweep me off my feet.
*No exceptions.
[ ]Must have the cutest nickname for me. Ever.
Nickname: _______________________________________
[ ] Must be fluent in a foreign language OR take me to lots of exotic places frequently.
[ ] Must use correct grammar at ALL times.
*This is a deal breaker, guys.
[ ] Must love me unconditionally and put up with my stubborness, independent-ness and self-reliant-ness.
[ ] 10 extra points just for making it all the way to this point even though you know this was impossible to pass.
Purpose: Save them the heart ache.
[ ] Must {love} kids. No exceptions.
Note: If you did not check this box, please don't continue.
[ ] Must not smoke.
[ ] Must be a hard worker.
[ ] Must be at least 6'1.
[ ] Must be funny. Then again, it's not too hard to make me laugh.
[ ] Must have a good job- preferably a lawyer or doctor (anesthesioligist would be great) or a firefighter.
Please list other occupation here if none of the above apply to you. I will take these into
consideration. Other: ___________________________________________
[ ] Must play some sort of musical instrument OR own a motorcycle.
[ ] Must think I'm outrageously funny. Because, lets face it, I am.
[ ] Must accept my dorkiness.
[ ] Must be able to grill as well, if not better, than the current man in my life: My father.
*He grills a mean steak boys.
[ ] Must be fluent in sarcasm.
[ ] Must kill ALL spiders. Or any bug for that matter.
[ ] No pets. Except for my beta fish named Morris, and maybe a pet chicken named Izzy.
[ ] No trying to change my mind about ^this^ requirement either.
[ ] Must do the dishes after I cook delicious meals.
[ ] 100% support my obsession with Kyle Beckerman.
[ ] Must be an avid game player.
*I don't mean those dumb video games either.
[ ] Must accept the fact that I can't golf, dance, or do math.
[ ] Must give me a constant case of those dang butterflies.
[ ] Must be willing to go on crazy escapades and adventures!
[ ] Must send me periodic cute texts throughout the day that I can't help but break out in smile.
[ ] Must sweep me off my feet.
*No exceptions.
[ ]Must have the cutest nickname for me. Ever.
Nickname: _______________________________________
[ ] Must be fluent in a foreign language OR take me to lots of exotic places frequently.
[ ] Must use correct grammar at ALL times.
*This is a deal breaker, guys.
[ ] Must love me unconditionally and put up with my stubborness, independent-ness and self-reliant-ness.
[ ] 10 extra points just for making it all the way to this point even though you know this was impossible to pass.
8.14.2011
I'm obsessed... with this little love bug!
I could just eat her, she's honestly that delicious. Far more perfect than I could have asked for and definitely more than I deserve. You really never know love until you're a parent. It is lifes greatest blessing.
8.13.2011
6.08.2011
Oh how I love thee... Let me count the ways
You, my little sweet pea, are the one person I count twice in my blessings every day. I don't know how I got so lucky to be your mom, or what I did because I sure was a little hellion for your grandmother, but I consider myself to be the luckiest person ever. Not just alive- ever!
You bring a smile to my face with everything you do, but here's a few of the ways...
Φ The way your eyebrows raise when I do something new and you're intrigued
Φ How you instantly find your thumb when you're sleeping and the rest of your hand covers your face
ΦYour perplexed face when I'm feeding you new fruit and the combination of you trying to figure out what your tongue is again for the thousandth time always makes me laugh
Φ The fact that you rolled over when no one was watching and you've refused to do it since that day. You little stinker, you.
Φ The cute sound you make when you're playing with your spit bubbles.
ΦWhen I've got you locked on me for just a few minutes and I make you laugh that little "aha aha" laugh.
Φ You're the most alert baby I've ever seen.
Φ Watching you splash around in the bath. You were probably a fish in another life.
Φ How much you're already like me. I'm not worried one bit. I'm just very, very excited.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
You bring a smile to my face with everything you do, but here's a few of the ways...
Φ The way your eyebrows raise when I do something new and you're intrigued
Φ How you instantly find your thumb when you're sleeping and the rest of your hand covers your face
ΦYour perplexed face when I'm feeding you new fruit and the combination of you trying to figure out what your tongue is again for the thousandth time always makes me laugh
Φ The fact that you rolled over when no one was watching and you've refused to do it since that day. You little stinker, you.
Φ The cute sound you make when you're playing with your spit bubbles.
ΦWhen I've got you locked on me for just a few minutes and I make you laugh that little "aha aha" laugh.
Φ You're the most alert baby I've ever seen.
Φ Watching you splash around in the bath. You were probably a fish in another life.
Φ How much you're already like me. I'm not worried one bit. I'm just very, very excited.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
5.26.2011
There she goes
My oh my how time is flying! You're about to be 16 weeks old tomorrow. To me, you are HUGE! And you've been wearing 6-9 month old clothing since you were practically born. You are the one person who can always make me smile, no matter what you're doing. Whether you're sleeping, smiling back at me, wailing at the top of your lungs, screaming from excitement at 2 in the morning (or anytime for that matter), or sucking on your fists. Yes, fists. As in plural. As in, at the same time. You're a very determined little girl. One more thing to add to the list of 'what I love about you'.
Here are some firsts for you within the past few weeks:
Thumb sucking. Yes, you've found it, and you also love it.
Daycare. I think you love it, although I'm not too sure. Mostly during the day you eat, sleep, have your diaper changed, and then repeat the entire process. Either way, I'm sure glad to see you when I come to pick you up and you give me that big old grin.
Flirting. You are so boy crazy already, definitely my daughter, and boy do you pull out the charm whenever you hear a guy. You're favorite is grandpa. Oh yes, he can make you laugh and smile like no one else can. You love him a lot.
Squealing. This is what you do all the time now. I thought it was adorable when you first started doing it, but I found it not so cute after you started doing it randomly throughout the middle of the night.
Peek-a-boo. You absolutely LOVE this game. Especially when you're playing with grandpa. You laugh and laugh. You laugh even harder when you're scared, and it's so cute to watch you anticipate it. You flinch your eyes just waiting for it to happen. So. Cute.
TV. You love to turn your head and watch TV while you eat. It looks quite uncomfortable to me, but you enjoy it, so you just keep on watching sweet pea.
Rolling. You aren't quite able to roll all the way over you, but you always pull your feet up towards your chest and roll onto your side.
You are just too dang cute for me. I am in love, and awed, by everything you do. All everyone ever tells me is what a good baby you are. And it's so true. You rarely cry, you sleep through the night, you're always happy and content. I really am so lucky, and I count you twice in my blessings every night.
I hope that you keep getting so big, even though I think you're growing up too fast. Keep laughing and smiling; you have such a contagious personality, and I know that you will inspire others because of that when you're older.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
Here are some firsts for you within the past few weeks:
Thumb sucking. Yes, you've found it, and you also love it.
Daycare. I think you love it, although I'm not too sure. Mostly during the day you eat, sleep, have your diaper changed, and then repeat the entire process. Either way, I'm sure glad to see you when I come to pick you up and you give me that big old grin.
Flirting. You are so boy crazy already, definitely my daughter, and boy do you pull out the charm whenever you hear a guy. You're favorite is grandpa. Oh yes, he can make you laugh and smile like no one else can. You love him a lot.
Squealing. This is what you do all the time now. I thought it was adorable when you first started doing it, but I found it not so cute after you started doing it randomly throughout the middle of the night.
Peek-a-boo. You absolutely LOVE this game. Especially when you're playing with grandpa. You laugh and laugh. You laugh even harder when you're scared, and it's so cute to watch you anticipate it. You flinch your eyes just waiting for it to happen. So. Cute.
TV. You love to turn your head and watch TV while you eat. It looks quite uncomfortable to me, but you enjoy it, so you just keep on watching sweet pea.
Rolling. You aren't quite able to roll all the way over you, but you always pull your feet up towards your chest and roll onto your side.
You are just too dang cute for me. I am in love, and awed, by everything you do. All everyone ever tells me is what a good baby you are. And it's so true. You rarely cry, you sleep through the night, you're always happy and content. I really am so lucky, and I count you twice in my blessings every night.
I hope that you keep getting so big, even though I think you're growing up too fast. Keep laughing and smiling; you have such a contagious personality, and I know that you will inspire others because of that when you're older.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
4.29.2011
12
Oh my goodness sweet pea!
You are 12 weeks old today! How do I know you're getting older? Because you keep getting bigger! You're already wearing 6-9 month clothing (I wish I was joking), and your legs are so long I have a hard time keeping track of all of you while you're eating!
These past 12 weeks have kind of flown by, haven't they? A lot has happened. I've watched you grow and change a little bit everyday, and every little change has brought a smile to my face. You light up the entire room, and you have no idea you even do that yet! I'm so happy that your grandpa blessed you with a contagious personality, because it's already starting to show. Your grin is so cute, but the thing I love about you most is how you smile with your eyes. That happens a lot more than you smiling with your mouth. You're so determined (even though your fist never fits in your mouth, you never stop trying anyways) and you're so tough (Shots? No problem for you. You haven't cried once and you've had a few shots). And I promise that I'll love all of you everyday of your life.
I have to go back to work on Monday, and I'm dreading the thought of having to leave you. I know it will be nice to get back on a normal routine and get back to doing productive things during my day, but I will miss you so much and I know I'll be thinking about you every second of the day that I'm away from you.
I read an old post today, stating that meeting Kyle Beckerman for my 18th birthday was probably the greatest day of my life, and I am happy to tell you that you topped that day by like a gazillion! Holding you in my arms for the first time was the most amazing thing, and ever since then I haven't wanted to put you down. I just want to smell you all the time because I always lather you in lotion (it's a must that we smell good before we leave the house) and I'm wishing that you still fell asleep on my chest. Sometimes you let me rock you, but you're so content to just lay down in your crib and go to sleep by yourself. After you talk your head off for a while of course. I know that you have a lot to say, and I can't wait until you get to tell me all about it in a language that I can actually understand.
Here are some things that have happened in the past 12 weeks:
Your hair went from almost black to light brown. And it's getting lighter everyday. Yay!
You love music. You absolutely love it.
Everytime you eat you stick your thumbs inbetween your index and middle fingers and keep it there until you're finished.
You also try to help me hold your bottle, but you're so dang strong that most times you just push it out.
You talk in your sleep, and it is the dang cutest thing I've ever heard.
We've been on many lunch dates with lots of people, and you love to just lay in your car seat and stare at the world around you.
You love fans and clocks. Fans that are spinning seem to be a little better, but those two things are the first things you look for in any room.
You love to give wet and slobbery kisses with your mouth wide open. It almost looks like you're trying to eat the person.
Your fists have become your new favorite things to play with these past couple of weeks. You'll stare at them in wonder before you try shoving both of them in your mouth.
Listening to you suck on a binky always makes me laugh. It's loud, sounds like you're chewing it with no teeth, and you still haven't quite grasped the concept of what it's for.
You somehow always manage to pull the blanket over your head. That's one of your favorite ways to go to sleep.
You have changed my life so much, for the better, and all I can do to say thank you is love you with everything I have and make sure you know that.
You are the best baby and I'm so blessed to call you my daughter. I wake up everyday looking forward to whatever we're going to experience together. You are my life and without you things wouldn't be complete. Thank you for putting up with my craziness and flaws. I promise one dayI'll remember to do up your onsie before I put your pants back on.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
You are 12 weeks old today! How do I know you're getting older? Because you keep getting bigger! You're already wearing 6-9 month clothing (I wish I was joking), and your legs are so long I have a hard time keeping track of all of you while you're eating!
These past 12 weeks have kind of flown by, haven't they? A lot has happened. I've watched you grow and change a little bit everyday, and every little change has brought a smile to my face. You light up the entire room, and you have no idea you even do that yet! I'm so happy that your grandpa blessed you with a contagious personality, because it's already starting to show. Your grin is so cute, but the thing I love about you most is how you smile with your eyes. That happens a lot more than you smiling with your mouth. You're so determined (even though your fist never fits in your mouth, you never stop trying anyways) and you're so tough (Shots? No problem for you. You haven't cried once and you've had a few shots). And I promise that I'll love all of you everyday of your life.
I have to go back to work on Monday, and I'm dreading the thought of having to leave you. I know it will be nice to get back on a normal routine and get back to doing productive things during my day, but I will miss you so much and I know I'll be thinking about you every second of the day that I'm away from you.
I read an old post today, stating that meeting Kyle Beckerman for my 18th birthday was probably the greatest day of my life, and I am happy to tell you that you topped that day by like a gazillion! Holding you in my arms for the first time was the most amazing thing, and ever since then I haven't wanted to put you down. I just want to smell you all the time because I always lather you in lotion (it's a must that we smell good before we leave the house) and I'm wishing that you still fell asleep on my chest. Sometimes you let me rock you, but you're so content to just lay down in your crib and go to sleep by yourself. After you talk your head off for a while of course. I know that you have a lot to say, and I can't wait until you get to tell me all about it in a language that I can actually understand.
Here are some things that have happened in the past 12 weeks:
Your hair went from almost black to light brown. And it's getting lighter everyday. Yay!
You love music. You absolutely love it.
Everytime you eat you stick your thumbs inbetween your index and middle fingers and keep it there until you're finished.
You also try to help me hold your bottle, but you're so dang strong that most times you just push it out.
You talk in your sleep, and it is the dang cutest thing I've ever heard.
We've been on many lunch dates with lots of people, and you love to just lay in your car seat and stare at the world around you.
You love fans and clocks. Fans that are spinning seem to be a little better, but those two things are the first things you look for in any room.
You love to give wet and slobbery kisses with your mouth wide open. It almost looks like you're trying to eat the person.
Your fists have become your new favorite things to play with these past couple of weeks. You'll stare at them in wonder before you try shoving both of them in your mouth.
Listening to you suck on a binky always makes me laugh. It's loud, sounds like you're chewing it with no teeth, and you still haven't quite grasped the concept of what it's for.
You somehow always manage to pull the blanket over your head. That's one of your favorite ways to go to sleep.
You have changed my life so much, for the better, and all I can do to say thank you is love you with everything I have and make sure you know that.
You are the best baby and I'm so blessed to call you my daughter. I wake up everyday looking forward to whatever we're going to experience together. You are my life and without you things wouldn't be complete. Thank you for putting up with my craziness and flaws. I promise one dayI'll remember to do up your onsie before I put your pants back on.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
4.27.2011
Malnutrition....?
Brylee-
All you want to eat lately is your fist. Stop that! Cannibalism is out-dated and I promise I buy you enough formula and cereal to keep your growing tummy full. Plus, you should realize that your entire fist won't fit in your mouth, much less both of them at the same time.
Just a few words of wisdom from your wise and loving mother.
All you want to eat lately is your fist. Stop that! Cannibalism is out-dated and I promise I buy you enough formula and cereal to keep your growing tummy full. Plus, you should realize that your entire fist won't fit in your mouth, much less both of them at the same time.
Just a few words of wisdom from your wise and loving mother.
New Milestones
Not that these are really milestones, but you're changing so much everyday Brylee that I can't keep up with you! Everything you do brings a huge smile to my face and I honestly just want to tell every person I know how cute you are 5 times a day!
Here are a few things that you do lately that just make my heart melt:
- The big, big grin you give me when I peek over your crib everytime you wake up. I can't help but scoop you up and squeeze you against my chest.
- After you eat, I can go lay you in your crib and you fall asleep by yourself. It's so wonderful.
- You talk to yourself for about 10-15 minutes before you finally do fall asleep, and I love listening to your stories.
- The slobbery kisses you give me everytime I lean in to nuzzle your nose.
- How cute you are when you scream bloody murder after I take your bottle away to burp you before I let you finish. You almost have me convinced that it's the end of the world.
- How content you are to just lay by me on the floor and look at everything around you in such amazement.
- The way your eyes light up when I do something new, and I can just tell that you're trying to figure out how to do it.
- Sometimes you forget what your tongue is, and it's so cute watching you try to figure it out again.
- I can't shovel that baby cereal in your mouth fast enough when you eat it before bedtime!
- You're starting to grab onto more things (like my finger, the bottle, binky, hair or clothing), but it definitely is only when you want to do it.
- Everytime I pull the camera out to get a picture of you smiling and cooing, you stop. That's because you're so puzzled by what the camera is and then you just follow the camera around with your eyes. So we only have a couple of smiling pictures so far because we have to trick you to get one!
- You can still sleep all day AND all night. You normally sleep 10 or more hours a night. Have I told you lately that you're the best daughter ever and I love you so much?
- At 11 weeks you weighed 15 pounds. At your 2 month check up you went above and beyond the 100th percentile, and you were the size of a 4 month old. We parted with all of your 3 month clothing and brought out the 6-9 months. I wish I was joking, but that's all that fits. And we just gave your wonderful aunt Dawn a whole bunch of diapers we didn't get to use because you're too big for them now. And all of this happened before you're even 3 months old. :)
- My love for you grows so much more everyday, and you help me to realize what the important things in life are.
I love you little sweet pea, more than you can ever imagine. Thank you for being a part of my life. I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
Here are a few things that you do lately that just make my heart melt:
- The big, big grin you give me when I peek over your crib everytime you wake up. I can't help but scoop you up and squeeze you against my chest.
- After you eat, I can go lay you in your crib and you fall asleep by yourself. It's so wonderful.
- You talk to yourself for about 10-15 minutes before you finally do fall asleep, and I love listening to your stories.
- The slobbery kisses you give me everytime I lean in to nuzzle your nose.
- How cute you are when you scream bloody murder after I take your bottle away to burp you before I let you finish. You almost have me convinced that it's the end of the world.
- How content you are to just lay by me on the floor and look at everything around you in such amazement.
- The way your eyes light up when I do something new, and I can just tell that you're trying to figure out how to do it.
- Sometimes you forget what your tongue is, and it's so cute watching you try to figure it out again.
- I can't shovel that baby cereal in your mouth fast enough when you eat it before bedtime!
- You're starting to grab onto more things (like my finger, the bottle, binky, hair or clothing), but it definitely is only when you want to do it.
- Everytime I pull the camera out to get a picture of you smiling and cooing, you stop. That's because you're so puzzled by what the camera is and then you just follow the camera around with your eyes. So we only have a couple of smiling pictures so far because we have to trick you to get one!
- You can still sleep all day AND all night. You normally sleep 10 or more hours a night. Have I told you lately that you're the best daughter ever and I love you so much?
- At 11 weeks you weighed 15 pounds. At your 2 month check up you went above and beyond the 100th percentile, and you were the size of a 4 month old. We parted with all of your 3 month clothing and brought out the 6-9 months. I wish I was joking, but that's all that fits. And we just gave your wonderful aunt Dawn a whole bunch of diapers we didn't get to use because you're too big for them now. And all of this happened before you're even 3 months old. :)
- My love for you grows so much more everyday, and you help me to realize what the important things in life are.
I love you little sweet pea, more than you can ever imagine. Thank you for being a part of my life. I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
4.13.2011
All in a day's work
So, I know I haven't blogged for ages. I think of something really good to write about, but it never happens. This is mostly the story of my life. Chaos and procrastination. It's pure bliss :) I'm seriously so in love with Glee (and Netflix) that I had a whole Glee marathon by myself this weekend. Okay, Brylee participated in the festivities somewhat. It was so intense, that I even lost a little bit of sleep over it. Well worth it though.
Isn't it so funny sometimes how life works out? More so the process of how and when things happen. I read a book last week called True Colors, and then I started seeing everyone's true colors. Needless to say, I'm a little annoyed. But I'm realizing what and who the important people are in my life and I couldn't be happier with who/what they are. I haven't really written Bry's story of her birth anywhere, so I figure I'll put it on here. Plus, I heard that some companies will take your blog and turn it into a book, so then it's like a journal anyways. With a side of carpal tunnel instead of pen or pencil smudges. Awesome!
She was one day late. Much better than the whole week or so I thought was going to happen, because let's face it: She's my daughter, which means she's stubborn and she does things on her own time. That Friday morning I woke up and wasn't feeling any different. (Also, I was kind of hoping she would wait until Superbowl Sunday so that way I could get her this cute little Packers outfit and email it to Ellen. How cute is that?) I'd been spending a lot of my time over at my parents house so that I wasn't going crazy in the utter silence. Dawn and Cam came down to visit with us and she had a friend coming over. We started talking about being preggers and labor stories. (Mostly I was just listening to the labor stories, ya know.) I'd decided that I wanted Dawn to be there to video tape, so as she was leaving I jokingly said "Well, I hope you don't drive all the way home just to have to come back tonight." She left and seriously an hour later I was starting labor. Does the phrase 'Be careful what you wish for' come to anyone else's mind? I didn't really feel too different, just a little bit of cramping which I hadn't had before so I laid down to see if they'd go away. Then I stood up. Then I walked. And guess what? They weren't going away. They weren't painful, just uncomfortable, and I didn't want to drive all the way out to Riverton and have them tell me I was in false labor so I waited. Then another hour passed and I started timing these contractions. They were always more than 90 seconds and were coming every 2 1/2 to 4 minutes apart. I was getting excited! Finally I decided it was time to go to the hospital and see what they had to say.
We got there a little after 6:30 and I was admitted by 7:30. I sent out the texts and waited for the troops to show up. Wendy, our nurse, was so amazing! I was technically supposed to be passed off to another nurse, but she loved me and the fam so much that she even called her husband to tell them that and that she was going to stick around. I told her I wanted a natural labor, and that I wanted the doctor to come break my water if possible to speed things along. The contractions were starting to get a little more painful, and I was getting tired quick. After the doctor came to break my water, which was about 8:30, things started going fast! My legs started shaking, kind of uncontrollably and that freaked me out a bit, but it also distracted me from the contractions. Everyone in the room was laughing and joking in hopes to get me to smile, but I was having none of it. I was seriously so tired that it almost felt like I wasn't even there.
At 10:20 I told Wendy that I needed to push, but she said I had one more centimeter to go and that she would go page the doctor. Page?! I was ready to push this baby out and he wasn't even there? Two more contractions and that was it. This baby was coming now, doctor or not! He walked in right at that moment and put his gloves on. Talk about good timing. And, this on call doctor, Dr. Colby, didn't really look like he didn't want to be there. I don't know if it's because he knew that I was a first time mom going natural or what, but he was not very reassuring when I saw him come mozey on in to deliver my baby.
5 pushes and 15 minutes later little Brylee entered this world at 10:55 pm. Okay, more like came flying into this world. Dawn almost missed it, and the doctor had to catch her. I just couldn't stop pushing. Then I was worried and kept apologizing because the birthing classes tell you to stop after the head so they can get the shoulders out. You just couldn't wait though Bry. You wanted to meet me as much as I wanted to meet you. So between crying and apologizing, I got to take my first look at you. You were the most beautiful person I had ever seen. You had so much hair! And you weren't even crying. You were just looking around like 'What's going on?' They laid you on my chest and I felt a love that I've never felt before. (Then the doctor scolded me and said that if you didn't cry you wouldn't pass your apgar test.) Don't worry- you passed! 9's and 10's Bry! You didn't cry during your shots, you didn't cry when they wiped you off, nothing. They brought you back to me and I just stared at you. I knew I was going to love you before you were born because I baked you to such perfection for 9 months, but seeing you for the first time was almost indescribable. I knew at that very moment that you were my whole life. Everything was going to be about you, and I couldn't wait for it to start.
You were such a good baby Brylee. You didn't fuss unless you were hungry, you were so wide awake and wanting to take everything in. You slept in my room that night, and you slept from 2 until 7. I just wanted to hold you all the time. And tell everyone about you. The day after you were born was pretty boring at the hospital, and I wanted to get out of there just as soon as we could. We had to wait at least 23 hours so they could test you for jaundice, but as soon as you passed we were discharged! So we left about 11 pm on Saturday night, and we slept in our own beds at home. I woke up at every little sound you mad, and even though I was so exhausted, I would stay up and watch you sleep. Okay, mostly make sure you were still breathing!
You still sleep a lot, and you still hardly cry, and all in all I consider myself the luckiest person in the world to be your mother. You are such a blessing to me and I am so grateful for you every second of every day. I love that big grin you give me when you see me after sleeping. I love that you talk in your sleep, because you do. I love when you sing duets with me while you just stare up at me, grinning the entire time. I love that sometimes it's almost like you don't know what your tongue is so you have to find out again. I love watching you look at yourself in the mirror. I love letting you sleep on my chest. I love everything you do, but mostly I just love you.
Isn't it so funny sometimes how life works out? More so the process of how and when things happen. I read a book last week called True Colors, and then I started seeing everyone's true colors. Needless to say, I'm a little annoyed. But I'm realizing what and who the important people are in my life and I couldn't be happier with who/what they are. I haven't really written Bry's story of her birth anywhere, so I figure I'll put it on here. Plus, I heard that some companies will take your blog and turn it into a book, so then it's like a journal anyways. With a side of carpal tunnel instead of pen or pencil smudges. Awesome!
She was one day late. Much better than the whole week or so I thought was going to happen, because let's face it: She's my daughter, which means she's stubborn and she does things on her own time. That Friday morning I woke up and wasn't feeling any different. (Also, I was kind of hoping she would wait until Superbowl Sunday so that way I could get her this cute little Packers outfit and email it to Ellen. How cute is that?) I'd been spending a lot of my time over at my parents house so that I wasn't going crazy in the utter silence. Dawn and Cam came down to visit with us and she had a friend coming over. We started talking about being preggers and labor stories. (Mostly I was just listening to the labor stories, ya know.) I'd decided that I wanted Dawn to be there to video tape, so as she was leaving I jokingly said "Well, I hope you don't drive all the way home just to have to come back tonight." She left and seriously an hour later I was starting labor. Does the phrase 'Be careful what you wish for' come to anyone else's mind? I didn't really feel too different, just a little bit of cramping which I hadn't had before so I laid down to see if they'd go away. Then I stood up. Then I walked. And guess what? They weren't going away. They weren't painful, just uncomfortable, and I didn't want to drive all the way out to Riverton and have them tell me I was in false labor so I waited. Then another hour passed and I started timing these contractions. They were always more than 90 seconds and were coming every 2 1/2 to 4 minutes apart. I was getting excited! Finally I decided it was time to go to the hospital and see what they had to say.
We got there a little after 6:30 and I was admitted by 7:30. I sent out the texts and waited for the troops to show up. Wendy, our nurse, was so amazing! I was technically supposed to be passed off to another nurse, but she loved me and the fam so much that she even called her husband to tell them that and that she was going to stick around. I told her I wanted a natural labor, and that I wanted the doctor to come break my water if possible to speed things along. The contractions were starting to get a little more painful, and I was getting tired quick. After the doctor came to break my water, which was about 8:30, things started going fast! My legs started shaking, kind of uncontrollably and that freaked me out a bit, but it also distracted me from the contractions. Everyone in the room was laughing and joking in hopes to get me to smile, but I was having none of it. I was seriously so tired that it almost felt like I wasn't even there.
At 10:20 I told Wendy that I needed to push, but she said I had one more centimeter to go and that she would go page the doctor. Page?! I was ready to push this baby out and he wasn't even there? Two more contractions and that was it. This baby was coming now, doctor or not! He walked in right at that moment and put his gloves on. Talk about good timing. And, this on call doctor, Dr. Colby, didn't really look like he didn't want to be there. I don't know if it's because he knew that I was a first time mom going natural or what, but he was not very reassuring when I saw him come mozey on in to deliver my baby.
5 pushes and 15 minutes later little Brylee entered this world at 10:55 pm. Okay, more like came flying into this world. Dawn almost missed it, and the doctor had to catch her. I just couldn't stop pushing. Then I was worried and kept apologizing because the birthing classes tell you to stop after the head so they can get the shoulders out. You just couldn't wait though Bry. You wanted to meet me as much as I wanted to meet you. So between crying and apologizing, I got to take my first look at you. You were the most beautiful person I had ever seen. You had so much hair! And you weren't even crying. You were just looking around like 'What's going on?' They laid you on my chest and I felt a love that I've never felt before. (Then the doctor scolded me and said that if you didn't cry you wouldn't pass your apgar test.) Don't worry- you passed! 9's and 10's Bry! You didn't cry during your shots, you didn't cry when they wiped you off, nothing. They brought you back to me and I just stared at you. I knew I was going to love you before you were born because I baked you to such perfection for 9 months, but seeing you for the first time was almost indescribable. I knew at that very moment that you were my whole life. Everything was going to be about you, and I couldn't wait for it to start.
You were such a good baby Brylee. You didn't fuss unless you were hungry, you were so wide awake and wanting to take everything in. You slept in my room that night, and you slept from 2 until 7. I just wanted to hold you all the time. And tell everyone about you. The day after you were born was pretty boring at the hospital, and I wanted to get out of there just as soon as we could. We had to wait at least 23 hours so they could test you for jaundice, but as soon as you passed we were discharged! So we left about 11 pm on Saturday night, and we slept in our own beds at home. I woke up at every little sound you mad, and even though I was so exhausted, I would stay up and watch you sleep. Okay, mostly make sure you were still breathing!
You still sleep a lot, and you still hardly cry, and all in all I consider myself the luckiest person in the world to be your mother. You are such a blessing to me and I am so grateful for you every second of every day. I love that big grin you give me when you see me after sleeping. I love that you talk in your sleep, because you do. I love when you sing duets with me while you just stare up at me, grinning the entire time. I love that sometimes it's almost like you don't know what your tongue is so you have to find out again. I love watching you look at yourself in the mirror. I love letting you sleep on my chest. I love everything you do, but mostly I just love you.
4.02.2011
Big question of the day...
When is someone going to start paying me for my awesome blog and wonderful advice???
... Even if I've not yet taken some of my own advice.
(Working on that part)
And... I've decided all I really need is my sweet spirited baby and keyboard.
... Even if I've not yet taken some of my own advice.
(Working on that part)
And... I've decided all I really need is my sweet spirited baby and keyboard.
4.01.2011
Right this very moment I love:
Glee
Steven Tyler <3
the Netipot
matching socks
full cans of hairspray
Christina Aguilera
{endless} amounts of diet coke
baby cereal
Easy A
my wonderful sister who keeps making me put all of my stuff away so I can finally be "moved in"
French toast, bacon and syrup. Yummm
Great weather!!!
My beautiful daughter.
My life.
Steven Tyler <3
the Netipot
matching socks
full cans of hairspray
Christina Aguilera
{endless} amounts of diet coke
baby cereal
Easy A
my wonderful sister who keeps making me put all of my stuff away so I can finally be "moved in"
French toast, bacon and syrup. Yummm
Great weather!!!
My beautiful daughter.
My life.
3.31.2011
The one who will remain nameless
Right now my heart is heavy. I'm miserable at the moment. Today I found a box. A box full of things from you; of you. Of us. Letters, pictures and other such and such. I was scared to open the box, but I did. And then I touched things, picked them up, and I looked at them. It was hard. Mostly hurt. Yesterday I saw you. Yesterday I talked to you. Yesterday my heart hurt. I wanted to hug you, but I know I screwed up big time. The day before yesterday I found a notebook. A long time ago I started a text journal. Texts from you. Texts about me and you. Some of the sweetest things I've ever heard are written in that notebook. Like how you would eat only vegetables for the rest of your life if you could be with me even though you hate vegetables. And talking about dancing around and singing because of how happy I made you. I read them all. Then I read it again. I laughed. I cried. I smiled. I ached. And then I regretted. I regretted ever having said goodbye to you. This isn't the first time I've felt this way, but I used to be better at pushing those feelings away and ignoring the pain. I burned a lot of bridges the day I said goodbye. I hurt a lot of people. You, your wonderful family, my family, but mostly myself. That's what I get for being defiant and stubborn. For being irrational and jumping into things without thinking them through. Every day I've missed you. Most days I'm thinking about you; wondering about you.
I finally apologized. It's taken me a long time to admit outloud, or even to myself that I was wrong. Too long. Too little, too late, right? You told me you forgave me, but it still hurts. You hurt more at the time, but I hurt more in the end. I'm babbling on right now because I want to talk to you, because I miss you, because I miss us, but I probably shouldn't. So this is making me feel better, and I can say what I would say to you. I'm not quite sure this wound is completely healed yet. Who knows, it might not ever be. And even if it does, I don't think it will have the end result that I want.
I miss your family. I missed them as soon as I said goodbye, and there were many times in the couple of years that have followed that I still find myself missing them. They're wonderful. They were so good to me. They were so welcoming. They were like my family, which made me love them even more. I miss them. I miss the sleepovers. I miss cooking quesadillas with mozarella cheese. I miss making cookies. I miss the laughs. I miss the crazy stories. I miss the friendships.
I'm trying to find comfort. Solace. Peace. The feeling of knowing it's okay however it ends. It's hard. I feel like I've been taking steps in the right direction, but it's a slow process. I'm a little impatient. And I think more than anything I'm wanting it to happen my way. The way where we end up with the happily ever after, but I don't think I get that now. Not now anyways; maybe never. But even if I don't get it my way, I'll always be grateful for you and everything you taught me. Everything you showed me. Everything you did for me. It means more than I could ever tell you.
I finally apologized. It's taken me a long time to admit outloud, or even to myself that I was wrong. Too long. Too little, too late, right? You told me you forgave me, but it still hurts. You hurt more at the time, but I hurt more in the end. I'm babbling on right now because I want to talk to you, because I miss you, because I miss us, but I probably shouldn't. So this is making me feel better, and I can say what I would say to you. I'm not quite sure this wound is completely healed yet. Who knows, it might not ever be. And even if it does, I don't think it will have the end result that I want.
I miss your family. I missed them as soon as I said goodbye, and there were many times in the couple of years that have followed that I still find myself missing them. They're wonderful. They were so good to me. They were so welcoming. They were like my family, which made me love them even more. I miss them. I miss the sleepovers. I miss cooking quesadillas with mozarella cheese. I miss making cookies. I miss the laughs. I miss the crazy stories. I miss the friendships.
I'm trying to find comfort. Solace. Peace. The feeling of knowing it's okay however it ends. It's hard. I feel like I've been taking steps in the right direction, but it's a slow process. I'm a little impatient. And I think more than anything I'm wanting it to happen my way. The way where we end up with the happily ever after, but I don't think I get that now. Not now anyways; maybe never. But even if I don't get it my way, I'll always be grateful for you and everything you taught me. Everything you showed me. Everything you did for me. It means more than I could ever tell you.
3.30.2011
All we need is love
Hey sweet pea,
You're sleeping in your swing now, but we woke up at 5 because you were hungry! Last night we fed you cereal for the first time before your last bottle, and you did so good! We couldn't shovel that stuff in there fast enough to keep you happy. Every little thing you do makes me laugh, and it makes me so proud to be your momma. Yesterday when I got you up, you focused in on me and you gave me the biggest grin. It melted my heart! We smiled, played, cooed, and talked for a good 10 minutes while you grinned at me the whole time. You are the sweetest thing this world has ever known.
This morning while I was feeding you, for some reason I thought about your goofy Aunt Emily. She just got back from choir tour a couple days ago, and we missed her a lot while she was gone. But now that she's back, all she wants to do is love on you! I have two of the greatest sisters, Dawn and Emily, and this makes them the two best aunts for you! They will always love you, listen to you, and guide you when you need it. When you're older, and me and you are not seeing eye to eye on something, or you're frustrated with me because I'm your mom and driving you crazy in the moment, know that Dawn and Emi will always be people you can turn to. They're funny and they always make me laugh. They're loving and know when I need a hug. They always let me talk their ear off if I need to. These are all things they'll do for you as you start to get older as well.
Both of them were at the hospital with me when you were born. They were trying to make me laugh, but I was just so dang tired and wanted you to come out that I wasn't laughing. At the time anyways. Later I told them it was funny, I just didn't have any energy to laugh. Dawn almost missed your birth because you literally came flying out. And she keeps saying that she was so afraid to breathe while filming because it was so quiet in the room. Emily told me that she would deliver you if the doctor wasn't there on time (he almost missed the delivery), and those pictures now make me laugh everytime I look at them.
Aunt Dawn introduced our family to the greatest game ever invented. I can't remember the real name, but we call it Werewolf for short. It's absolutely fantastic, and we're now having Werewolf parties every month. You've attended all of them so far, although I'm sure you won't remember them. (Don't worry- I told everyone that they couldn't kill you, so you've just been an observer for now.) We love games Brylee, so I hope that you will love them too when you're older. I hope you love our family as much as I do. I hope you'll always love me. Even when we're having silly little arguments; I hope you still love me. It's tough growing up, and it seems I've taken the longer, harder path, but you have so many people around you who love you and want the best for you. And I'll keep reminding you that every day.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
You're sleeping in your swing now, but we woke up at 5 because you were hungry! Last night we fed you cereal for the first time before your last bottle, and you did so good! We couldn't shovel that stuff in there fast enough to keep you happy. Every little thing you do makes me laugh, and it makes me so proud to be your momma. Yesterday when I got you up, you focused in on me and you gave me the biggest grin. It melted my heart! We smiled, played, cooed, and talked for a good 10 minutes while you grinned at me the whole time. You are the sweetest thing this world has ever known.
This morning while I was feeding you, for some reason I thought about your goofy Aunt Emily. She just got back from choir tour a couple days ago, and we missed her a lot while she was gone. But now that she's back, all she wants to do is love on you! I have two of the greatest sisters, Dawn and Emily, and this makes them the two best aunts for you! They will always love you, listen to you, and guide you when you need it. When you're older, and me and you are not seeing eye to eye on something, or you're frustrated with me because I'm your mom and driving you crazy in the moment, know that Dawn and Emi will always be people you can turn to. They're funny and they always make me laugh. They're loving and know when I need a hug. They always let me talk their ear off if I need to. These are all things they'll do for you as you start to get older as well.
Both of them were at the hospital with me when you were born. They were trying to make me laugh, but I was just so dang tired and wanted you to come out that I wasn't laughing. At the time anyways. Later I told them it was funny, I just didn't have any energy to laugh. Dawn almost missed your birth because you literally came flying out. And she keeps saying that she was so afraid to breathe while filming because it was so quiet in the room. Emily told me that she would deliver you if the doctor wasn't there on time (he almost missed the delivery), and those pictures now make me laugh everytime I look at them.
Aunt Dawn introduced our family to the greatest game ever invented. I can't remember the real name, but we call it Werewolf for short. It's absolutely fantastic, and we're now having Werewolf parties every month. You've attended all of them so far, although I'm sure you won't remember them. (Don't worry- I told everyone that they couldn't kill you, so you've just been an observer for now.) We love games Brylee, so I hope that you will love them too when you're older. I hope you love our family as much as I do. I hope you'll always love me. Even when we're having silly little arguments; I hope you still love me. It's tough growing up, and it seems I've taken the longer, harder path, but you have so many people around you who love you and want the best for you. And I'll keep reminding you that every day.
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
3.25.2011
Things you did today...
...that I loved.
- You kicked so hard during bath time from excitement that I thought you were going to kick yourself right out of your tub. I got it on video so you can see it someday.
- You smiled (big grins!), cooed, and told me stories for a long time today while we laid on the couch together.
- You're finally starting to figure out how your bink works. This makes me happy because my back might stop hurting from bending down and holding it in your mouth for you when you're fussy in your sleep.
- You let me look into your beautiful blue eyes for a while before you fell asleep.
- You sang with me when I sang you "You Are My Sunshine"
Thing I didn't love:
- You are SEVEN weeks old today. Stop growing up so fast sweet pea!
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
- You kicked so hard during bath time from excitement that I thought you were going to kick yourself right out of your tub. I got it on video so you can see it someday.
- You smiled (big grins!), cooed, and told me stories for a long time today while we laid on the couch together.
- You're finally starting to figure out how your bink works. This makes me happy because my back might stop hurting from bending down and holding it in your mouth for you when you're fussy in your sleep.
- You let me look into your beautiful blue eyes for a while before you fell asleep.
- You sang with me when I sang you "You Are My Sunshine"
Thing I didn't love:
- You are SEVEN weeks old today. Stop growing up so fast sweet pea!
I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy
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