Future Hubby Application

So... basically- I got tired of settling. Being the smart and witty person I am, I've created this little 'application' for any potential hubby suitors. I thought of requirements and traits of my "perfect" someone, and trust me, he doesn't exist. Therefore, this is impossible to pass, which means I can avoid settling down. ever. And now this lovely information is being handed out along with a short disclaimer about myself and the way I feel about men to any of them in the future here.

Purpose: Save them the heart ache.


[ ] Must {love} kids. No exceptions.
Note: If you did not check this box, please don't continue.

[ ] Must not smoke.

[ ] Must be a hard worker.

[ ] Must be at least 6'1.

[ ] Must be funny. Then again, it's not too hard to make me laugh.

[ ] Must have a good job- preferably a lawyer or doctor (anesthesioligist would be great) or a firefighter.
Please list other occupation here if none of the above apply to you. I will take these into
consideration. Other: ___________________________________________

[ ] Must play some sort of musical instrument OR own a motorcycle.

[ ] Must think I'm outrageously funny. Because, lets face it, I am.

[ ] Must accept my dorkiness.

[ ] Must be able to grill as well, if not better, than the current man in my life: My father.
*He grills a mean steak boys.

[ ] Must be fluent in sarcasm.

[ ] Must kill ALL spiders. Or any bug for that matter.

[ ] No pets. Except for my beta fish named Morris, and maybe a pet chicken named Izzy.
[ ] No trying to change my mind about ^this^ requirement either.

[ ] Must do the dishes after I cook delicious meals.

[ ] 100% support my obsession with Kyle Beckerman.

[ ] Must be an avid game player.
*I don't mean those dumb video games either.

[ ] Must rub my feet at least once a day.

[ ] Must accept the fact that I can't golf, dance, or do math.

[ ] Must give me a constant case of those dang butterflies.

[ ] Must be willing to go on crazy escapades and adventures!

[ ] Must send me periodic cute texts throughout the day that I can't help but break out in smile.

[ ] Must sweep me off my feet.
*No exceptions.

[ ]Must have the cutest nickname for me. Ever.
Nickname: _______________________________________

[ ] Must be fluent in a foreign language OR take me to lots of exotic places frequently.

[ ] Must use correct grammar at ALL times.
*This is a deal breaker, guys.

[ ] Must love me unconditionally and put up with my stubborness, independent-ness and self-reliant-ness.

[ ] 10 extra points just for making it all the way to this point even though you know this was impossible to pass.